Home

Home: 
     - A house, apartment, or other shelter that is the usual residence of a person or family
     - the place in which one's domestic affections are centered
     - a dwelling place or retreat of an animal
     - the place/region where something is native or most common

Synonyms: abode, dwelling, habitation

- Home is where the heart is
- Home is where your rump rests - Pumbaa  
- Home is where you go and they have to let you in
- Home is where the laundry is free
- Home is a safe place where we can go as we are and we won't be questioned -Maya Angelou
- Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically


I was writing this post in my head today as I rode my bike around town. I thought I had used the title before, and didn't want a duplicate. But upon inspection, I realized I hadn't written a post all about home. And, as you can see, the term 'home' has a history. It's definition is subjective to the person using it. It's been used in famous quotes. It's a part of multiple everyday idioms. There are songs dedicated to home, going home, and finding home. It's the 162nd most commonly used word in the English language. (No, I didn't know that... I just looked it up) 

There are two reasons for my fixation on the word 'home.' First, I'll be leaving my home this weekend and setting out for another home, and second, my roommate Laura left the apartment today, and she leaves China tomorrow morning. Let's approach these one at a time..... 

First, my departure. The concept of leaving Shaoxing for two and a half months is weird. I'm leaving a large pile of my belongings here because I know I'll be back, but the time between then and now seems unreal. I'm leaving for Hangzhou and I'll be there for a week, and then traveling to Xi'an province before going to Beijing. And then I'll be coming back to Shaoxing right? Like all of my other travels I'll be coming home right? Well... yes, but I'll be going to my home in America. The term 'home' becomes ambiguous and frankly, confusing when used so often. According to the Merriam-Webster definition, my usual residence is Shaoxing.... Or at least it has been for the last nine months. But, my native home is the bright yellow room in northern Wisconsin. The place that is most common for me is Shaoxing, but the place where my family dwells is Wisconsin. Do you see my conundrum? I'm not saying I have to decide on one or the other because I'm a firm believer that 'home' is the ground under my feet. I can make my home anywhere.... But rather, my point is this: Going Home is a concept that is so foreign to me. During my college years, that meant going back to WI. For nine months, going home meant my six floor walk up in Shaoxing. The idea of actually going back to my bed, to the house I share with my parents and sisters hasn't been an option for so long that it doesn't seem real. I think I'm trying to vocalize an emotion and I'm not sure how I'm doing..... The only thing I can compare it to is the idea of Spring in January. You know it exists. You know its coming. But it's been so long you're leery, and you're content with the snow. 

The second thought is all about Laura. For the last couple years of college, and now the last year in China, Laura and I have spent a large majority of our time together. And we lived together for nine months. Now she is going home, finding an apartment, buying a car, and finishing up details for her wedding. She's diving into domestic life. Its awesome, and I'm excited for her, but I realized something. Our friendship is going to change now. We will never again be roommates. We won't see each other everyday. I will see her in July for her wedding, and possibly next school year if she visits China... But who knows where life will lead us after that. I know that we will still be friends, and that we'll strive to see each other...But our friendship will be different. Not worse, just different. It's like when you graduate from high school or college. Move to a new city or gain a new sibling. Things won't ever be as they were prior to the event. I guess I'm having a nostalgia moment because I had so much fun this year. There will never be another in my life like Laura. 

Life will never be the exact same.... and a large part of me knows that its supposed to be this way. I'm excited for the unknown, for what's coming, for new adventures. I'm nervous that when I go home to America everyone and everything will be different. Either the place or the people will have changed, or I will have changed and feel differently about things. And then I'll be coming back to China.... I guess the only way to find out is to just keep moving... One foot in front of the other, finding my way home.... I'll see you soon!

Until next time.