Chinese Idiosyncrasies; Vol II, Issue 4

Note from the Editor:

• We all know that a person has habits that we don't always appreciate. Similiarly, a group or population or even a whole nation can have similar habits. That's what this periodical aims to highlight. Whether you agree or not with the evaluation of the author, the idiosyncrasies of China are usually strange to foreigners and often comical. If you have any idiosyncrasies to rival ours, please send your stories to the magazine. 

Foodies, alert!

• As one explores China and the available cuisine, it won't take much time before realization hits. Variety is limited. The food in China is varied, but its all Chinese. Rice and noodle based diets, vegetables in an array of salty sauces, and fried anything. How about western food? Occasionally. Mexican? Rarely. Italian? Nope. And when an establishment offers these alternatives to Chinese food, the price jumps dramatically. This week my friends and I went to "GoodDay", a restaurant offering Mexican and American food. Now, this doesn't stand up to any standards I have. But there were tacos, burritos, pizza, sandwiches and salads. All of which was easily 10 times more than I would have paid for Chinese cuisine. But, Tacos were appealing. My meal came with three tacos, chips and two small cups of sides. One was salsa, and it was quite delicious. The other was sour cream (the waitress told me this) but I knew at a glance that it was not. No, upon further inspection... It was mashed potatoes. So, my disappointment was short lived, because who doesn't love mashed potatoes? Even cold ones. (disappointment grew slightly at that discovery) I can't complain to much because my tacos were delicious, albeit over priced. Moral of the story? Sometimes, no western food is better than weird chinese-ified western food. 

When it rains....

• The weather in China is unpredictable. In a given day it can look like rain from the start and nothing happens. Other days the sky looks clear, and as close to blue as its gonna get and suddenly a pouring rain that soaks to the undies in minutes erupts from the heavens. This occurred the other day. It was one of those 'iffy' days where I grabbed an umbrella just in case. Now, it had been raining on our ride from the restaurant, but as we exited the bus to walk the 200 meters to the apartment doors, a steady rain turned to flood waters pouring from above. My umbrella was rendered mostly useless as it only managed to keep my head and shoulders dry. As I walked, the sidewalk turned slick and after nearly sprawling twice, I removed my shoes. Only to slip two or three more times barefoot. Grimy, wet tile doesn't lend itself to traction. But the inch of water on top didn't help either. It rained so quickly that even the driveway next to the canal was underwater because the rain couldn't run off fast enough. Twenty minutes later the rain was finished. 

The Commute

• The only modes of transportation I frequent are my bike and the bus. Each has their pros and cons, and to get the 45 min out of town I opt for the bus. The road the bus takes is under construction. Has been for a few years. During my ride this week, I really took note of what was happening outside the bus. We crossed a bridge that had been narrowed to one lane as a crew and jack hammer tore apart the lane next to us. There was approximately 8ft between myself and the jack hammer and less than that between the outside of the bus and where the road gave way to canal below. Evidently, this is common practice. I could only think of America. There is a bride near my house being rebuilt, and all the precautions taken to ensure both vehicle and worker safety. In China, these men are working mostly with hand tools, in their underwear because its hot, with no safety gear while cars and busses drive past. I should mention that there are no flags. That is, its first come first serve as to who gets to drive down the 8ft wide lane thats available to traffic in both directions. 
• Another bus anecdote for your pleasure. I was headed downtown on a local bus. I've ridden this bus plenty of times, and noticed this before, but I guess that day it really just hit me. The location of bus stops is not exactly conducive to route. This particular bus was in the left of two lanes as it was nearing the stop. The driver gave it some gas to get around a car next to the bus and the proceeded to cut to the right across a lane and into the bus lane. Stopping neatly at the but stop. Okay, not so bad. But the stop is about 30 meters from an intersection. And the bus route turns to the left at said intersection. Are you with me? If you are, you probably rolled your eyes. If not, feel free to do so now. .... Yes, you guessed it. The bus driver cuts back across both lanes of traffic to get into the turn lane headed left. Sometimes, this isn't a problem as there are few to no cars. But somedays, like the day I'm referencing, traffic is backup behind a red light 8-10 cars deep. And the bus just inches out until its across multiple lanes waiting for the light to turn green. The other cars either go around before the bus gets to far, or they stop and wait. But, foreigner me, can't help but chuckle at the idiocy going on. And I'm a part of it!! 

Talk to Me

• I am an English expert in China. I have picked up a fair, but small, amount of Chinese in the year I've been here. I feel pretty confident ordering food. Especially at a small food place near the apartment. However, I walk in the other day and go to the window to order "chiao ningao" or fried rice noodles. Something that is easy to say, and I've ordered here before. (They remember me. Trust me, I'm one of 6 foreigners that probably eats there) The man behind the grill looks at me like a zoo exhibit for a moment. (keep your jokes to yourself please) Then, says 'ah, ah, jia jiao'.... Is that what I said? NO!! So I say again, 'chiao ningao' and finally after another moments pause, the man goes 'oh, oh, chiii niiiigaaa' ... I interpreted that to be his version of what I said, and nodded agreement before sitting down. I ended up getting what I wanted so apparently he was just shocked at the perfect Chinese i spoke to him. 

Lifestyle

• My good Chinese friend, Marie, and I were walking downtown. We had just crossed the street and stepped up on the sidewalk when an E-bike drove past. As it approached I noticed a man driving, and little baby legs peeping out from behind him. In China, it's no odd sight to see a family of three on one E-bike. Or sometimes three adults for that matter. So, the baby legs peeping out didn't surprise me. But, I turned to look at the rest of those chubby legs as the E-bike passed me. What motivated me to look, I don't know, but what I saw was not sometime I had ever seen in china before. The woman riding behind the man was breast feeding those little legs I saw. Now, no big thing right? Except it was like she had the babe under her shirt, or had draped a blanket or something. Nope. She was holding the babe with shirt lifted, and the bike was in motion on what I'd say is the second busiest street in the city. (This is a face, palm moment. A big one. Just don't hurt yourself)

Until next issue.